Set your alarm for the end of the world.

I've always been a night owl but lately, I've been waking up feeling like a zombie. You know, all zoned out and foggy headed. But I love pushing the end of the day past its limit, watching the clock and the sky change. In the middle of the night, it's easier to be alone. I can sit and stare off into space. I don't have to talk to anyone. I am free to do whatever I please.

There was a year when I only worked for six months. I was unemployed the other six. It was the best. My sleep cycle was so strange, though. I would stay up later and later until, eventually, I was up until six in the morning and then I would sleep until the late afternoon. But I was getting eight hours of sleep, so technically I was being very healthy.

The night time is so quiet when the streets are empty. Everyone is inside and there isn't much noise past three in the morning. I used to smoke cigarettes on my front porch and listen to the way the natural world took over. Tree leaves rustling, wind whistling, animals prowling -- I felt like the only human being left on earth. Most of the time, I liked this feeling. 

I often like to pretend that I am the only one left in the world. I wonder how long I could keep myself company. I would write a lot. I would sleep for ages. I would read books like that guy in the Twilight Zone episode but I wouldn't wear glasses. I would just have to be careful not to poke my eyes out. 

I am pretty sure that I need more time alone than most people but that doesn't mean I would be happy being the only person left on earth. 

Have you ever seen this movie? The Quiet Earth. It's one of those mid-eighties "end of the world" movies. I remember watching it at my cousin's house and crying after one particular scene. The main character was so lonely that he stood naked in front of a mirror and pretended that he was a woman. The way he touched the mirror and the way he cried...that scene is burned in my memory. It was horrifying and captured such an extreme feeling of loneliness. I still think about that scene, that depth of loneliness, from time to time. 

Especially during weeks like this one, with everyone gone for the holidays and an empty house all to myself. I sometimes wonder if I am going to wake up and find an empty city. If it happens, please don't let everyone turn into zombies because I am not the main character in this movie. She's such a bad ass. Plus, ever since Bess told me about zoombies (real fast zombies -- get it? Zoom-bies?) I've been worried that I'm just not quick enough for a zombie fight.

I would like to think that night owls have an advantage when it comes to end of the world scenarios but I suspect that it's always the night owls who end up being the zombies. If I've learned anything from eighties movies about apocalyptic events, it's that "early to bed, early to rise" is basically another way of saying, "Go to bed early, you jerk, and you won't be a zombie in the morning."